Wednesday, October 21, 2015

My Half Full Glass Just Fell Off the Table



This week we got to visit current volunteers at their sites.  I boarded a taxi in Maseru with some fellow volunteers and headed south.  Besides my testicles falling asleep from supporting a hiking backpack for two hours on the speedbump infested Lesotho roads, the trip was relatively uneventful.  Another volunteer and myself met our host Lee in a camptown where we had fried chicken and fries.
We took a taxi to his village about ten minutes out of town and were surprised to find such amenities as electricity, a personal latrine, and a puppy, which was left to him two days prior by another volunteer.  I was excited about spending some time away from my rooster "Timex" and getting some sleep so naturally I was disappointed to discover Lee had three roosters of his own that also have no idea when the sun rises.  Lee was kind enough to supply us with ear plugs for the night.

I was having trouble sleeping so I grabbed my Kindle and quickly picked up where I left off in "A Clockwork Orange".  About 20 minutes into the read I was startled by the cold wet nose of Lee's puppy.  I flipped the Kindle around to illuminate the puppy and shoo him away.  Five minutes later and he was climbing on top of my sleeping bag and again I had to pick him up and move him away.  He whimpered a few more times but then was quiet.  I would estimate another 15 minutes or so went by when I heard a bark.  I reached up and pulled out my earplug just in time to hear a small whimper followed by graphic diarrhea.  I flipped my Kindle around to see the puppy standing on my pile of stuff with projectile poop coming out of the business end.  I grabbed my headlamp and the door handle with one hand and the scruff of the puppies neck with the other and out the door he sailed.  By this time everyone in the room was up and I explained to Lee what his dog had done.  About two minutes later, about the time it took him to stop laughing at me, he turned on the light and we began to assess the damage.

The puppy had pooped on my newly purchased hot sauce, an inflatable mattress repair kit, Lee's curtains (yay), and my Hydroflask.  Amazingly enough my camera and favorite pair of pants, which I had just talked favor towards in a heated pants discussion earlier, appeared to scrape by unscathed.  I lifted my pants by the waist and the leg swung and suddenly stuck to my leg.  I peeled it off knowing exactly what I would find and sure enough, I had puppy poop smeared on my bare leg.  And that is the story of how Ebola came to Lesotho.

P.S.  To those of you who are disgusted and repulsed, I believe there is an unsubscribe button somewhere on the bottom of your screen.  To those who know me well, I'm sure you are both surprised and impressed that it took me four whole blogs to finally come up with a good poop story.  Stay tuned.

6 comments:

  1. Good thing all of your pants are quick drying, they should be salvageable.

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  2. Not surprised at all. Keep up the good work.

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  3. Hi, Joel. We don't know one another but I'm in a Life Group with your folks. Your mom told me you were going to blog while there in Lesotho, and I asked her for the link to your blog. My name is Linda aka Teafreak. You have to know that I totally understand about the doggie diarrhea, and I truly feel sorry for you. It reminded me of the time I was visiting our daughter who lives in California, and her cat peed in my (open) suitcase. I discovered it when I woke up in the morning, reached for a t-shirt, pulled it over my head and felt my back was all wet! I swear that EVERY item in my suitcase got sprayed by the cat. So, you must trust that I do understand and extend my deepest sympathy to you. Truly!

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  4. Hi, Joel. We don't know one another but I'm in a Life Group with your folks. Your mom told me you were going to blog while there in Lesotho, and I asked her for the link to your blog. My name is Linda aka Teafreak. You have to know that I totally understand about the doggie diarrhea, and I truly feel sorry for you. It reminded me of the time I was visiting our daughter who lives in California, and her cat peed in my (open) suitcase. I discovered it when I woke up in the morning, reached for a t-shirt, pulled it over my head and felt my back was all wet! I swear that EVERY item in my suitcase got sprayed by the cat. So, you must trust that I do understand and extend my deepest sympathy to you. Truly!

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  5. What a sweet and precious story! I can tell you and the puppy will be fast friends.

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  6. Not repulsed at all. Life happens! Your humor is greatly appreciated, we know you are just 'keeping it real'!
    Melinda's mom

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